Highmauve: Noelle's Dorm

Tobi watches Noelle’s mom drive away further and further out of sight to the beat of some song he doesn’t recognize. It’s catchy though and feels like something he could get used to, the backdrop to this strange feeling of belonging here on this concrete between rows of buildings. When he had first come here – to this college, to this town, away from home – he had felt as if every step was a little wrong. There had been something just the slightest bit off, just a touch out of beat. The new and the strange surrounded him, slammed into him and for as strong as he was, it had knocked him on his ass a fair few times.

He had found things over time. Routine had been thrust upon him in the form of a school schedule, homework, and meetings. He had found an easy friend in the barista who made his coffee most mornings, one who had understood his tired eyes, bleary expression, and soundless muttering as he tried to pronounce most of the drinks on the menu. The man had slid him the largest cup they had of a bitter, dark roast with an extra shot slid in for not much extra. The small bit of kindness after a week where he had struggled so much was overwhelming, Tobi had almost cried. Dance club had followed, and study groups lent him a few extra familiar faces. He had found friends and a routine, but still that itch of something missing had followed him.


And now he had Noelle.


Noelle, who had run into him, literally, on the first day of school looking as out of depth as he had felt his own first day. He had recognized that deer in the headlights look and decided to give her something he hadn’t had his own first day: a friend. He had taken her for coffee, the first comfort he had found, in the hope that it would bring her the same. Left her with his number in case she ever needed some help or someone to talk to. Sent her off with a thought to check up in her later, make sure she was settling in okay. But.

She had found him, helped him. She had flipped it so effortlessly in that first mutant history class and even later that night in this very town. She had wormed her way into his own life with the way she understood, the way she cared, the way she just was. He had fallen for her so fast, so easy, and in a way that had come crashing in so sure and so soft. Gentle like a soft autumn breeze, warm like the noonday sun, steady like the ancient oaks on campus. And now, with her in front of him - out of breath, eyes bright, face red, still a little sweaty from running, dirt smeared on one cheek, and leaf debris in her hair – he can’t help but think:


Perfect.


And so he does. A million times over, she’s perfect. He thinks it in time to her pounding heart, he thinks it in time to his own steady beat. He thinks it as he realizes he wasn’t seeing things earlier and he thinks it as he reaches for her own hand. Perfect; it’s an easy mantra in his head as he smiles, blindingly happy because he’s fluent in silent speech and unsaid words. He understands her just as easily as she understands him and right now, she’s just given him a gift that not his own Ma, not Karin, not anyone could ever outdo.

His smile is bright, his hair mussed in the wind, his hand intertwined in hers, and they’re so close that he can count the freckles dusting her cheeks and the stars in her eyes.



“I love you too.”

Noelle was about to keep talking in circles until she was able to say what as burning in her very being. But Tobi was looking at her as if she was the moon and stars and planets that lay overhead. Her voice gets caught in her throat as he speaks. The world slows down as she watches his lips form the words that she had been trying to say all day.

And just like that, things changed again. The world seemed incredibly small, enough for the two of them, and no one else. She was even closer now, staring into his clear and sharp eyes, his smile radiating warmth and that certain, one-of-a-kind fondness that only he could deliver. The memories and feelings flood over her, since when they had met. How different she had become with him by her side, how incredible the world was now. How her fears and trepidations were shrunk when his warm, solid mass was near her. How he looked at her the exact same way she saw him: the last piece of the puzzle.

Noelle might not have known what he saw in her, but he saw something. Everything. Just like whenever she looked at him, she saw perfection. Something that she had strived for her whole life had fallen into her lap, despite her constant upheaval of life and worrying gaze. As unlucky as Noelle though herself in the past, she had to admit that was wrong. She wasn't unlucky, she just hadn't found her other half.

She's smiling now, but it doesn't feel put upon like others she has had to fake. Her eyes shine brighter if that was even possible. She felt like a balloon to a tether- if she had let go of him, she would soar up into the night sky. The string that had connected them was pulling her closer, until she finally leaned into him, kissing him with every ounce of passion that she had. It was more than the way she lit up when she talked about her favorite books or her hometown or even the stances she had on justice and peace. It was more than the moment of sleepy rambling when she was lying in his couch, in his space, in his arms. More than their first kiss at homecoming, when she finally gave into herself and let happiness invade her. It was none of this and all of this, congealed and combined into a moment that outweighed the rest.

She didn't care that they didn't know each other long, or that they were two fundamentally different people. All that mattered was that she knew he was happy. As was she. And this moment was meant to be. Predestined.

As she moved in to kiss him, his mind went blank. All he could feel was her, her lips against his. He was falling, but not into the world, not like he was used to. The pull is towards her, his mind stays put, and all he wants to feel is her, wants to see is her.

He brackets his hands around her waist and pulls her close with a gentle tug. It was all he could do when she kisses with every bit of determination, of happiness, of excitement that he usually sees when she's discussing books or something else she's passionate about. It's only fair to give as good as he gets, he thinks before leaning into the kiss. He kisses with all of his pent up feeling, all the gratitude and gratefulness, happiness and delight that he's been keeping to himself. He's overjoyed and overwhelmed; everything a bit fuzzy at the edges except her.

When they break he laughs, full and unrestrained. It's deep and rumbling and echos through the space around them. He looks at her, eyes still bright. His mouth opens, then closes, starting and stopping as he tries to find his words. He can't seem to, though he seems fine with the failure.

She grins madly at the laughter, wrapping her arms around his neck. Any passerby would see the couple in a tableau, enjoying the moment in its entirety. She meets his eyes, sparks flying. "I love you, Tobias."

Noelle is proud to say it, especially with him being this close. Every ounce of feeling was poured out into those four words, and she clings onto Tobi with it. After a moment, she kisses him again, much more briefly, but as an affirmation of their mutual decision. Afterward, she takes a step back, looking between the two of them, as if trying to find some problem or issue between the two of them. She found none, obviously, and slunk back into him, grinning. Then, she asks brazenly "How long did you know?"

It was a harmless question, but she wanted to hear from him. Wanted to know when he pushed aside her crazy and just accepted her for... her. Unabashed Noelle.

His arms wrap around her waist, settles her against him.

"Well, darlin," he hums low, drawing out the 'darlin'. "You remember one night, when you'ere all wrapped up in my arms on a sofa sorta like the one in m'room?" his tone is playful, he knows she knows. "Well, you were there, in my space, and it just felt so right, y'know?" He closes his eyes, nods.

'Spose e'erything fell into place right then. Aligned jus' right."

He lets the comfortable quiet settle between them before speaking again.

"Am I 'llowed t'know the same?" he teases.

Did he recognize it for that long?

And he had dealt with her nonsense with Evan, despite it?

Man, she was the luckiest woman on the planet. And now he wants to know about her. She looks away "Well. It's a two-fold answer if that's okay?" She pauses for a moment, thinking it over, then says "I felt it ever since I first hugged you. We hadn't really seen each other for a week? And I was wrapped up with... him. And I saw you and I just felt... completely different than what I've felt about anything. And then we hugged and I just... I got lost in it, you know? And it just kept coming back and got stronger during homecoming and dancing and the aftermath and when I was gone. And I kept trying to define it, but I couldn't? I'm not sure why not, but all I knew was this was right..."

Noelle trails off, sheepishly "So, today, when you went and got changed, I was just looking around your room. Saw some mail and some stuff under your bed, but I didn't even think about snooping through them or anything. Because you don't do that to people you trust. And love. And then it was like 'Noelle, you dummy, you've been overthinking this entire time'" She doesn't meet his eyes, acutely aware of her late assessment "Stupid, huh? Couldn't recognize something so integral."

Tobi chuffs out a small laugh at the end of her explanation. "Don' matter much when it happens, I'm jus' glad it did." He cups his hand under her jaw, lifts her face to look her in the eyes. "Jus' real glad you did." He smiles, just for her. He seems to realize something then and takes his hand from her chin to rub at the back of his neck.

"Hones'ly, should'a gone snoopin'. Tha' big box un'erneath the bed? Tha's, uh," he stops then starts again. The smile turns sheepish. Underneath his curls, his ears burn red, he can't believe he forgot. "Tha's fer you. Birthday present, late now I guess. Happy birthday, by the way."

Noelle blushes when he laughs, but when she meets his eyes, she knows it's not malicious. It's in good faith. He holds her face to his, and she was about to kiss him again but tilts her head when his nervousness started to show.

It's her turn to laugh. It bubbles out, and she grins "Hey, it's not a big deal. Everyone usually forgets, plus we both have been... busy. You can give it to me when we get back to your place tonight." Noelle grabs his hand and starts to head back to campus, huddling to him for warmth "Seriously, don't worry about it, okay? It's not a big deal at all." Squeezing his hand, she means it. She's just grateful that he did remember it. That she had crossed his mind. "Besides, you didn't need to get me anything. You've already done so much."

The scene changes around them as they walk. The stores become fewer, and the big, gnarled trees that dot campus are becoming more frequent. the dim streetlights become fewer and fewer, the night illuminated by the cool blue light of the night sky.