Highmauve: Noelle's Dorm

"Yeah." he nods. There's ease in his voice and no tremor. He's sure he's going to be fine tonight. The events of today are long past him, and he's even thinking about sleeping inside tonight. "Yeah, I'll be fine."

"You gon' be fine?" he asks her in return.

“I always am. Or at least will be.” A small smile dances on Noelle’s lips “Thank you for listening to me today. I really appreciated it.”

She turns away, going back to her dorm. She decided that tonight was going to be filled with a cuddly cat, old leather bound books, and a dreamless sleep.

Tobias gives her a small wave as she leaves and begins the walk back to his own dorm. He looks up at the stars, then looks back down to his hands which had by now pulled his phone back out of his pocket. He unlocks it and scrolls through the unread text messages before typing out his own reply. By this time he's reached the door to his own door.

With only a flicker of hesitation, he opens it and walks inside. The door clicks shut quietly after him.

October 2nd 2008

The wind had picked up, rustling the leaves across the pavement. It howled loudly in the late afternoon sky, which was grey and bulbous with clouds. Most classes were done for the day, as many students walked around, heading to their destinations. Except for Noelle. She stood at the door to her building, her hair whipping around her face.

Next to her is Evan, the blonde haired boy from the dining hall. He is holding her hand firmly in his own, smiling his bright smile at her. Noelle's face is a soft pink and she avoids his eye, but her small lips are in a lopsided smile. This had been her third date with Evan- she decided to text him, after Winter's prodding. First was coffee, then lunch, and now he took her to a used bookstore off campus. She spent hours gushing about her favorite authors. Evan had been nothing but a prince to her- besides the dates, they were often found on campus, working together on their schoolwork. Noelle felt a small glimmer in her chest.

After a moment of silence, Evan leans down and gives her a chaste kiss on the cheek. Noelle's eyes widen, and she freezes in place.

The air had been too crisp, practically begging for a run. Tobi had changed into sweats and his only clean shirt immediately after his last class, laced up his sneakers, and headed outside to put feet to pavement. He’s got earbuds in his ears, but only to ward off anyone trying to make any sort of conversation. Nothing’s playing through them, and only the muted sounds of the world around him play backdrop to his run. He prefers it this way. Just him, his thoughts, and the whispers of the wind through the trees.

October was such a good month, he thought. The leaves on the trees around them fall in saturated technicolor hues, a visible marker of the changing seasons. He passes the library with its large front window, the gym, class buildings, and the coffee shop he frequently visited and had taken Noelle during orientation. His favorite barista is behind the counter today; he waves at him through the open door of the café. His feet hit the ground harder and faster, pushing himself further. He loses himself easily in the rhythm.

He has to stop though eventually, catch his breath. Tobi leans against one of the old oak tree in front of the dorms. His head leans back to smack against the bark of the ancient oak and he stretches his arms out behind him. That’s when he notices them. Noelle and some guy he had never seen before standing on the steps of her dorm, holding hands.

“Good for her.” He thinks aloud to himself with a soft, private smile. He likes seeing his friends happy, and he was glad Noelle had a social circle beyond him. The man then leans in to kiss her on the cheek, he sees Noelle blush even from here. He's got to remember to ask her about her new friend when he sees her next.

Noelle looks up at Evan, grinning wildly now. She smiles but doesn't return the kiss. Evan was such a huge sweetheart. She loved seeing him and working with him and relaxing with him. She's never felt this way about anyone. Well, anyone except-

She broke herself off. Better not think of that. Especially since Evan was right there, and so willing. She clutched her leather bag to her chest, which was now a little heavier with her purchases. She found the most lovely edition of The Wizard of Oz, which she was itching to read. Joy would love having conversations with Dothory and the Scarecrow; Noelle would always oblige.

A little way away, Noelle spots Tobi and smiles even brighter. She gives him a small wave, her eyes saying Look what happened! As she looks at Tobi, Evan flashes a hard scowl for a split second, but relaxes his face quickly, going back into his easy smile.

Tobi ducks his head as he laughs softly, missing Evan's hard scowl. Noelle seemed so excited, it was remarkably endearing. He wondered briefly if he should go over and say hi to her, introduce himself to her boy. He didn't want to intrude on a moment.

'Also', he thought as he ran a hand through his hair to shake out some of the sweat, 'prob'ly smell less than roses.'. For now he settled on a thumbs up and a warm smile.

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Noelle looks back at Evan, grinning. He smiles back and hugs her tightly. Then, he hands her a thin textbook, and she carefully puts it in her bag. They agree to meet up later to work on homework. Noelle had finished hers for the week, but she loved working with him and helping him wherever she could. He gives her another kiss on the cheek and goes on his way towards the east side of campus. Noelle watches him as he leaves, smiling.

She turns back to Tobi's direction and grins, her eyes saying "Can you believe it?" She starts on her way over to him, beaming.

Tobi shrugs easily in response as he walks forward to meet her halfway. "When'd you get yourself a boy?" he asks playfully once he's near enough. "Firs' time I ever seen 'im."

"We met two weeks ago. I was at lunch with Winter and he came up to me and said that he's been working up the courage to talk to me. His name is Evan." Up close, Noelle looks a little more tired than usual. Her eyes are accompanied with very pale purple bags. Other than that, she's glowing with happiness.

"He's really great, Tobi. He took me to that used bookstore in town! Isn't that amazing?" She is grinning like crazy, holding her bag close to her chest.

"Tha's pretty great, string bean." Tobi agrees. He'd been to that bookstore a couple of times, but not as often as he would have liked. He didn't read much for fun, as PreMed kept him busy enough. The atmosphere was quiet even if it was a bit too tight for his comfort, but there were two cats that the owner let wander between the shelves that he liked to stop in and see. His most recent visit had been for the contents of the small cardboard box sitting on the bed in his room. He still had about two weeks to wrap it yet, one of these days he was gonna get around to it.

He was happy Noelle was happy. He hadn't seen her this visibly excited since school had started. 'Right cute.' he thought.

Tobi then notices Noelle's dark circles and frowns softly. "Little early to be gettin' dark under the eyes, you doin' okay?"

"Oh, are they really that noticeable?" She touches one of them and shakes her head "Oh well, Evan and I have been studying together a lot recently. And I don't get a lot of sleep as is. I'm fine. I promise."

There isn't any hint of fear or stress in her voice, which was strange for her. She looks at Tobi, her smile turning wry "Why? Are you worried about me?"

A breeze rolls by, pushing the leaves like eraser shavings across the pavement. The light is a bright gold, pooling itself in the grass in the gaps of the leaves. October was Noelle's favorite month. The weather, the food, the food. It comforted her to no end.

"Always." he replies. "Jus' thinking it's way to early for those yet. Save 'em for finals." he teases her. The autumn light filters through the large tree above them, dappling the two with light. The sounds of the quad and college life around them is inter-cut with the sounds of birds twittering above and the leaves rustling with their movement through the trees. Tobi pushes his glasses up off his face and into his hair to hold the damp curls at bay. With nothing in front of them his eyes seem brighter, especially set against the earthy tones of his skin and hair as well as the warm atmosphere around them.

"Where's all this sass comin' from, I swear." he shakes his head playfully, the curls bouncing with the movement.

Noelle shrugs "I don't know. Maybe I'm just getting more comfortable with you."

Gently she elbows him. She actually felt a little guilty- Evan invited her out so much, that she hadn't seen Tobi since a little while after Agnes left. She missed him, but whenever she tried to tell Evan about it, he would tell her that he just wanted to see her, which made her feel worse. But she relished the small smiles and waves she'd shared with Tobi during this time. She felt like she had so much to tell him.

"What are you up to tonight? I'm meeting Evan later, but I feel like we haven't talked in forever." As usual, she met his eyes, dark brown looking into grey. She seemed a little less sure of herself now, but the spark is still there.

Tobi meets her eyes. There's something there that's just not right, something that throws him just a little bit off. He files it away in his mind to think over later. Right now though, he's realizing he's missed her over the past few days. He's seen her, smiled and waved at her, but talked to her even a little? Just hasn't been in the cards. A chance to catch up seems like something he'd really enjoy.

"Ah, ain't doin' much tonight.I'm jus' catchin' up on some work. If you wanna stop by my dorms and hang out a bit, I'd sure enjoy the company." he offers.

"I'll bring the coffee." he adds, almost as an afterthought.

"Yeah. I'd love to. I can help if you want- not sure if I could be of any help in Pre-Med. And coffee would be excellent." She gives him a small smile. There is a certain tiredness in her eyes that's only noticeable if you were really looking. Her phone gives a short buzz. She takes it out- a text from Evan. Nothing too important. She slides it back into her bag carefully, looking back at Tobi, still smiling.

"Meet you at your place?"

"Yeah. You know where i'is." the corners of his mouth tilt upwards. "And you ain't gotta help me with nothin', jus' bring yourself."

"Okay, if you say so." Noelle stands still for a moment. And then, as if she had to think about it, she hugged Tobi. It isn't a tight hug, but it's the most physical contact she had given him. Noelle didn't mind that he was hot, sweaty, and a little smelly. She had missed talking to him.

The sudden hug surprises him. One minute she was standing in front of him, the next, Noelle had her arms wrapped tight around his torso. He takes a moment to think about how he must stink, how this can't pleasant for her. She doesn't let go though so Tobi does the only thing he can think to do and wraps his arms around her.

He's never done anything in halves and this hug isn't gonna be the thing that breaks that streak. His arms circle her with an easy strength, not too tight but not loose enough to be awkward. He's as confident as he can be in a situation he has no experience with, a soothing and grounded presence.

Noelle holds him for a moment longer, comforted by the hug. It totally envelops her, which is strange because she is just as tall as Tobi.

She releases after a moment giving him an easy smile, which says what she doesn't feel comfortable to say aloud Thank you. I needed that. "Meet you there?"

Tobi nods in answer. Anytime. He drops his arms back to his sides. "Yeah, I'll see y'there. I'll leave the lights on." he waves over his shoulder as he walks towards his own dorm. He needs a shower and a clean pair of clothes if he's gonna have company over tonight. Maybe even clean up that pile of laundry he's got going on.

He stretches his arms as he walks away, pulling them above his head before dropping them back. His thoughts are a little frazzled, his chest a little tight. 'Funny,' he thinks. 'Run's never done that t'me 'fore.' There's a cold going around, it must be that.

Noelle watches him leave, smiling a little bit and watching him go. She looked down at herself. A black skirt and white blouse. She needed to change. Sweatpants were a must. Plus, she needed to grab Evan's book. She went over the information that he was having trouble with and had ensnared it in the steel trap of her brain. She turned and headed back to the steps of her building, beaming.

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

3:00 PM

Noelle is standing outside of her dorm building, holding two cardboard boxes and also has a navy duffle bag slung on her shoulder. She’s a lot less pale and not as thin. It has only been a week, but she obviously had been eating more than a couple of crackers and an apple and her clothes didn’t hang on her like a scarecrow. Her skin looked less translucent as well and her bags had disappeared. Overall, she finally looks healthy and back to what ‘normal’was for Noelle.

Truthfully, she spent the past week sleeping, being forced to eat, and talking to her mom and sister. Noelle had told her mother everything, in detail, and the conversation ended with Noelle crying while her mother held her tight, rocking her back and forth. That was Sunday night when she arrived. The rest of the visit was a pleasant recovery. She had texted Tobi sporadically during this time, but there were always large gaps between her texts due to napping and spending time with her sister. Plus, he didn’t really text back. But she had expected that. She assumed that cell reception wasn’t a thing wherever he was and that he wouldn’t be near his phone even if he was.

While she still wasn’t completely healed from the experience, she felt stable. She felt like she could go to school and be around people without suffocating. That emptiness that accompanied Evan’s assault was still there, but she had found ways to actually distract herself from it in a way that was healthy and didn't include her drinking her life away.

She spent a little more time in Maine than she expected. It was a long weekend anyways due to fall break, and Karen had convinced her daughter to just stay home and make up the work. Which was a great idea, as Noelle felt refreshed and ready to take on anything. She had missed Tobi, but she also knew that space wasn't a bad thing for either of them. The amount of bs that they went through in only a couple of hours was astounding. Still, there were a couple nights at home that she would wish for the warmth that surronded her when he was near- the comfort and solidness of his presence.

While Noelle stands by the door to her building, she turned around, looking for her mother. She wears a pair of dark jeans and a grey crew neck sweatshirt, the lepidolite necklace hanging around her neck. She hadn’t take it off since Tobi put it on her, and sometimes found herself absent-mindedly rubbing it between her thumb and forefinger. She wasn’t sure if she believed in crystal energy, but she appreciated it’s presence and comfort and the thought that had gone behind it.

Karen was walking nearby, carrying her own cardboard box. She wears a dark grey, handknit sweater that looked quite stylish on her with distressed blue jeans. Her hair was up in a messy bun, strands falling in front of her face in a way that framed it and made it look even more beautiful. Her modelesque features and kind smile had cleared the way for her as she passed by any students. She’s a little taller next to Noelle and carries herself with grace and pride. She’s elegant and glides through the campus with effortless ease. The box she holds is covered in drawings of trees in every medium- crayons, paints, pencils, watercolors. On the top flap, an 8-year-old’s handwriting says “For Tobi :-D”

Noelle waits for her mom and is suddenly talked by a small, and lithe child who leaps onto her back. Noelle doesn’t even flinch. The girl clings onto her, the dark brown pigtails bouncing with her. She laughs, which sounds more like a good-natured cackle, and flashes a smile. Her front teeth have a large gap, and her eyes are more catlike in shape than the two other women in her family. Her eyes are a sparkling and intelligent hazel, that shifts colors every few seconds. She’s all elbows and angles and hangs like deadweight off of Noelle, her limbs going every which way. She giggles and blows a raspberry on her sister's neck, which causes Noelle to squirm. The small child laughs and leaps off “I had to get one more in before you leave!” Her voice matches her aura- energetic, cheery, and hopeful.

Tobi had left for his parents house the moment he had finished his last midterm. Agnes had picked him up in her truck with Sunshine riding shotgun and together, the three had headed of towards the Appalachian wilderness, trusting that their parents would guide them to their place once they had gotten close enough. They traveled for hours fighting over radio stations, stopping at shitty gas stations, and taking turns driving when they had felt it. Something was near.

A heavy fog had rolled across the back road they were on and obscured everything; even the truck’s headlights couldn’t cut through the thick haze. To anyone else, this would have been the herald of a horror movie and a reason to panic. When a pair of eyes blinked at them from behind the fog about four stories high though, the twins had both grinned ear to ear and leaned out the windows of the car.

“Pa!” they had yelled in unison. Whatever was in the fog snorted in a gigantic attempt at a laugh before turning and slowly heading off further down the road. The truck followed close behind, and all four had disappeared into the cool night with a flutter of a breeze.

The rest of the week had passed much too fast, in Tobi’s opinion. They had reached the house their parents had built after they left, their mother waiting in the doorway for them with her arms wide. Agnes had run to the woman, slammed into her with the force of a daughter who’s been away from her mother too long. Their mother had laughed her high, chirping laugh and gathered the girl in her arms. Tobi followed slower but just as desperate for her and with the cracking lurch of shifting flesh and bone, their Pa had been there to wrap his thick arms around the three of them. Their parents showed them through the new house, took them out into the forest, made them meals that they hadn’t had in seven years. It had honestly been one of the best weeks of Tobi’s life.

And he supposed Noelle was the catalyst that had made it happen. Their ma had told them of her visit, how she was worried about the two of them. She had told them about the girl in Tobi’s room, of the conversation they had had. She had slyly eyed Tobi as she recounted the ‘more than friends’ part, giggling in her own way when he had flushed. He was glad Noelle had talked to their ma, surprised she knew sign, but grateful. He was looking forward to seeing her again and hoped that she was feeling at least a little better after her trip to her mom’s house.

He thinks about this as he walks back to his dorm after his trip to the coffee shop. His favorite barista had persuaded him into some sort of spicy tea drink, and it was better than he expected it to be. He’s in a pair of thick sweatpants and a dark grey t-shirt that fits just a little snug. A soft pair of thick lined slippers slaps against the concrete as he makes his way back. His Pa had made them, lined them in rabbit fur. It had been a lazy fall day, and he was fully taking advantage of the peace.

As he approaches his dorm though, he can see Noelle waiting by the front. He waves as he gets closer, doesn’t quite notice the woman approaching with a box. He watches amused as Noelle get tackled by a younger child who he assumes is her sister.

“If tha’ jus’ ain’t the cutest.” He murmurs soft as he takes a sip of his drink.

Noelle laughs and ruffles her sister's hair "What? Are you going to miss me, scamp?"

Joy puts her hands on her hips and sticks her tongue out, but she was beaming "No, I won't miss ya! I like having my own room! Your books just get all over the place."

Noelle rolls her eyes, good-naturedly "Yeah, yeah. You weren't saying that when I read to you every night."  Joy was about to leap onto her sisters back again, but Noelle's attention rests on Tobi's eyes and she beams at him, her heart lurching. She had missed him, as much as she enjoyed her time away. Of course, she couldn't help but think of him- somebody from the admin office of the university had called her, as well as a very nice policeman, recording her statement. Also, her mother had been agonizing over what to put in Tobi's care package. Noelle knew that the boy was going to be so incredibly flustered by it, but she gave up fighting her mother on it.

Joy squints in the distance, the freckles that dot her entire face creasing with her. She pouts her lips forward, but her dimples are showing. Before she can say anything, Noelle's mother begins to march over to Tobi with such determination in her stride, she could have move mountains. Her face is warm and inviting, her eyes sparkling with friendliness. Noelle follows her, quickly, trying to catch up and meet Tobi first.

Once Karen reaches him, she gives him the warmest smile possible. On anyone else, it would have been fake, but it was so genuine and real on her face. She radiated maternal care, but she doesn't reach out for a hug or a handshake. She is at an appropriate distance, doing whatever she could to accommodate the man in front of her, Without skipping a beat, she looks right into his eyes, and says "Hello! Tobi?"

It was so simple. She didn't want to overstep. Noelle had told her about how she had practically scared him off on the phone the other day.

Noelle finally catches up and flashes an apologetic smile, as Joy stands behind her, inspecting Tobi in detail. She's still squinting her eyes, but she leaned forward, making a loud HMMM sound. Noelle places a hand on her head to quiet her, and the small girl looks between her sister and the big man in front of them. Interesting. VERY interesting.